Please visit VK2TIP's Book Shelf. My personal recommendations, thanks.



a humorous certificate of notice to all visitors to an amateur or ham radio shack.

NOTICE TO ALL VISITORS

What you are about to witness is an Amateur Radio Station licensed to
Ian C. Purdie (No. 1214021) as VK2TIP by the Australian
Communications Authority, Canberra, A.C.T.,  Australia.
 

BEFORE YOU ASK THE QUESTIONS - HERE ARE THE ANSWERS


1.     The total cost of this equipment cannot be discussed here as it creates many complicated and varied marital conflicts!.

2.      No, we cannot send a message to your brother in Amsterdam, Berlin, London, Los Angeles or Hong Kong - I suggest you use Telstra or another telephone carrier for that purpose.

3.     This is strictly my hobby.  I have neither the facilities nor the time or inclination to want to fool around with fixing your Toaster, Clock Radio, Electric Kettle, Video Recorder, TV set, Car Stereo or hi-fi - I suggest you see a local serviceman.

4.    Yes, all those antennas in the backyard are essential to the proper operation of all this equipment.

5.     The farthest station I have contacted has been in the Ubangiland Islands off  the coast  of Southern Kowawowwow.

6.     The cards on the wall are called QSL cards. They are confirmation of contacts made with other stations throughout the world without my having to resort to using the facilities of, or incurring the cost of Telstra or any other telephone carrier.

7.    Yes this station is fully Y2K compliant as well as up to full international standards in all respects - for the simple reason I designed, programmed and built it all by myself.

8.     Accordingly, it is a technical IMPOSSIBILITY for this station's very complicated equipment to interfere with computers, video games, vcrs, television reception, washing machines, hearing aids, pacemakers, telephone or stereo systems.

9.    Any interference problems of that nature are strictly caused by very obvious design flaws in the home entertainment devices or the appliance itself.

10.    Curing arthritis might be a definite maybe. Then again maybe not.

11.     An Amateur Radio Station may only be operated by a highly qualified, technically skilled electronics expert.

12.    It takes absolute dedication, training, intelligence, as well as years of schooling to  reach the level of competence that justifies one to be licensed by the government of the Commonwealth of Australia.

13.    Therefore it is not considered inappropriate to show proper awe, respect and  general obsequiousness when I discuss my hobby or operate the numerous, yet complicated controls


FURTHERMORE

If you are granted the extreme honour of being invited to speak into the microphone,
please observe the following rules:

1.     Speak in a low and soothing tone.

2.     Do not disagree with me in any manner what-so-ever.

3.     Say no bad words and tell no off colour jokes.

4.     It is customary for the guest to make complimentary remarks
about this station and it's licensed operator when talking to other
hams on the air.

DO NOT

TOUCH ANYTHING!
TURN ANY KNOBS!
SIT ON THE EQUIPMENT!

I HAVE  LOST SEVERAL VISITORS BY ELECTROCUTION IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

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Copyright ©  1999 Ian C. Purdie. All Rights Reserved.
This Web site and all the content contained herein are protected under national and international copyright laws.

http://my.integritynet.com.au/purdic/

URL: http://my.integritynet.com.au/purdic/notice_visits.htm
Email to: Ian C. Purdie

This site was entirely written and produced by Ian C. Purdie*
Created: 8th July, 1999 and Revised: 28th November, 1999

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